Archive for the ‘The Hellbombers’ Category

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Huge hits, lead changes galore and a tied game that went into overtime — if you weren’t at the Burning River Roller Girls’ third home team bout, you missed out on one heck of an exciting night of roller derby.

The third double-header of the home season kicked off with a rousing rendition of the National Anthem by our very own West Nel Virus of the Cleveland Steamers and William Maullace, ref extraordinaire.

Then the skaters took the track for a fast-paced game pitting the Rolling Pin-Ups against last year’s Hazard Cup champs the Hellbombers. The Pin-Ups took the lead early and kept it for most of the game until the Bombers caught up toward the tail end of the second half.  At the end of the last jam, the score was tied meaning the game went into the rare unicorn that is the overtime jam! (A quick refresher for those who haven’t seen it in a while — in overtime, the jam goes the full two minutes and there is no lead jammer.) Despite a hard fight and a star pass from Pin-Up jammer …ooohSHINEE!, the Bombers pulled it off and won 154 to 149. MVPs were Mary Kaos (MVP Jammer) and Sparkles (MVP Blocker) for the Bombers, and Lulu (MVP Jammer) and x-TRON-x(MVP Blocker) for the Pin-Ups.

After the half time entertainment (the otherworldly sounds of a musical saw player) and a brief delay while helmet covers were procured, the Hard Knockers faced off against the Cleveland Steamers in the second bout of the evening. Despite a quick lead by the Steamers, the girls in pink snatched it away by the half.  It was a revolving door in the penalty box as both team’s jammers took turns sitting for a minute for much of the second half, but the Knockers never let that lead close and took the win 158 to 114. MVPs were Premo Donna (MVP Jammer) and Vendetta Farfalle (MVP Blocker) for the Knockers, and CupQuake (MVP Jammer) and Buddhalicious (MVP Blocker) for the Steamers.

After all that, you’re dying to know the Semi-finals match-ups now, right? Since this bout’s outcomes resulted in a three-way tie between the Knockers, Bombers and Pin-Ups, score differentials were used as the tiebreaker. The Semi-finals, on June 22 at the Ohio Nets Sports Complex, will be game one: the Hard Knockers (3rd place) vs. the Hellbombers (2nd place), and game two: the Rolling Pin-Ups (1st place) vs. the Cleveland Steamers (4th place.)   Get your tickets here!!! Winners from each game go skate to skate for the Hazard Cup in our Championship bout. Will the Knockers beat the Bombers for a second time this season and go on to the Championship for the first time since our first season? Can the Steamers sink the competition and pull an upset on the Pin-Ups? You’ll just have to be there this Saturday,  June 22 to find out.



Posted: April 19, 2013 by burningriverrollergirls in General, home teams, Interviews, Rookies, The Hellbombers

hellbomberOh yes.  Even the demons of hell will often give birth and bring forth new minions!!

That was a little scary, but then again, so are the Hellbombers.  Meet their ferocious rookies!!!

Skater Name Enemylou Harris

Skater Number 74

When did you become interested in derby? This is so lame, but after I watched the movie Whip It.  I hadn’t even heard of it until I saw that.  When I found out it was real I knew I had to do it.

What is the most exciting thing that you’ve
enemyloudone so far as a new home team skater? 
It’s been exciting to be a jammer.  Breaking through the pack and getting lead jammer at a bout is a totally awesome feeling.

What was your first bout like? SO NERVOUS. I was so nervous until I started skating.  Once I was out on the track, I starting thinking about the game and not about being nervous.

Any advice for people thinking about trying out for derby? If you’re interested in it, go for it. If you don’t like it, no harm done. If you love it, which you will, then awesome!

Prepare for tryouts, I was really glad that I had practiced some of the things required before I went to the boot camps. It made me feel more confident and less nervous. There are a ton of videos on youtube that helped me out.

What’s your personal theme song and why? Heads Will Roll- Yeah Yeah Yeahs. It pumps me up.

What’s your spirit animal? Owls. Their prey never sees them coming.

Do you have a favorite skater?  Someone who mentored you?  People in the league are so welcoming and helpful, it’s hard to choose just one.  Everyone has their own style of teaching and skating, so it’s easy to find something that works for you.

Skater Name Colonel Kurtz

Skater Number N7

When did you become interested in derby? Too long ago to remember. It took a while, but the stars had finally aligned in the right way for me to try out in January!

kurtzWhat is the most exciting thing that you’ve done so far as a new home team skater? Participate on Kickin’ it with Kenny!

What was your first bout like? My first bout is a happy blur! It was definitely really exciting to get to skate in front of my family and friends for the first time.

Any advice for people thinking about trying out for derby? Do it! You’ll meet some really great people, increase your level of fitness, and have so much fun!

What’s your personal theme song and why? MMMBop! by Hanson *jokes* I like music way too much to narrow it down to one theme song; I’m a walking symphony. 😉

What’s your spirit animal? Unicorn, because… Hello! Super majestic!


Skater Name Bustin Stuff

Skater Number  41

When did you become interested in derby?  The second Amstel Standin started talking about it and posting pictures.  It was never the right time until last year.  Coming up with FM12 was the best experience EVER!!!  It was way bustinstuffmore than I ever expected.

What is the most exciting thing that you’ve done so far as a new home team skater?  Being able to learn skills and focus on what I need to be for my team from the absolute best.

What do you think your first bout will be like? It will be amazing!!  If it is anything like our practices it will end up being one hell of a game!!

Any advice for people thinking about trying out for derby? Get some skates and get on them!!  Only speaking from personal experience but I am mad I didn’t do this sooner.  Words cannot express how awesome this really is.

What’s your personal theme song and why? Move Bitch (Get out the way) – Ludacris Have you seen my size??? That’s how I come through lol and I mean “”Bitch”” in the nicest way possible 🙂

What’s your spirit animal? A Whale – big, beautiful but lethal if I need to be!!!

Do you have a favorite skater?  Someone who mentored you? Amstel Standin 🙂 if it wasn’t for her I probably would have never found this.


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Burning River Roller Girls Season 6 officially came to an end over the weekend as we celebrated our league members with an amazing awards banquet.  Below you will find a list of winners – we’re so proud!  We couldn’t fit all of the photos into the post, so here’s just a taste.  Thank you to our very own Buddha (Victoria Stanbridge)  for taking the photos.  You can see more of her professional work here.  

Can’t wait to start Season 7!  We will have more details in the next few weeks, so please stay tuned!

League Awards

League MVP – The Killustrator

Best Jammer – Premo Donna
Best Blocker – Finnish-HER
Rookie of the Year – …oooh Shinee!
Most Improved – Mary Kaos
Derby Queen – Amstel Standin’
Most Intimidating – Morbid Cherub
Joan Weston Leadership Award: TIE!!!!  Eva Lucien & Mosh Spice
Most Dedicated Ref – David Feck’em
Most Dedicated NSO – Travis Sickle
CoCo Sparx Best Butt Award – West Nel Virus
Rockin Rack – Beatrix Wicked
Gorgeous Gams – Rainbow Fright
MVP – The Killustrator
Best Jammer – The Killustrator
Best Blocker – Finnish-HER
Most Improved – Premo Donna
Rookie of the Year – oooh Shinee!
MVP – Professor Booty
Best Jammer – Marion Razorwound
Best Blocker – Decibelle
Rookie of the Year- Mandy Maggots
Most Improved – Beatrix Wicked
Jammer – Tuety Turmoil
MVP – 3 way tie: Dirty Rotten Oar, Social Batterfly, Hellz Kellz
Best Blocker – Pathojane
Most Improved – Hellz Kellz
MVP – Professor Booty
Best Jammer – Marion Razorwound
Best Blocker – TIE – Morbid Cherub & Ivanna Destroya
Rookie of the Year – Action Jackson
Most Improved – Mary Kaos
Rolling PinUps
MVP – Punkd Pixie
Best Jammer – Punkd Pixie
Best Blocker – Rae Gunn
Rookie of the Year – oooh Shinee
Most Improved – Mandy Maggots
MVP – The Killustrator
Best Jammer – Maulibu Barbie
Best Blocker – Rainbow Fright
Rookie of the Year – Knock Off Hanbag
Most Improved – Knock Off Hanbag
Hard Knockers
MVP – Bad Mooney Rising
Best Jammer – Premo Donna
Best Blocker – Finnish-HER
Rookie of the Year – Scarlet Go Dancin
Most Improved – Thrash-her

Meet BRRG: Sweet Heart-Attack

Posted: April 28, 2012 by burningriverrollergirls in General, Hazmat, Interviews, The Hellbombers

Sweet Heart is ready to Attack.

Skater name: Sweet Heart-Attack

Teams: Hellbombers and HazMat Crew

1. How did you discover derby?

I was looking for a physical outlet, but I’m really not sure why roller derby instead of something like soccer, or square dancing. I think the physical contact intrigued me. I didn’t have any friends who played and I had never seen a bout. But I discovered and joined the recreational league (wRECk) about two years ago and fell in love with the attitude and the physicality. Going to wRECk actually made me look forward to Mondays at work, because it meant there were two more days until wRECk. When I found out there was a mid-season tryout for BRRG in 2010, I jumped at the chance.

2. What do you do for cross training?

I like bicycling, doing the TRX boot camps at Soza and I love Dance Dance Revolution. Don’t judge me! It helps with agility.

3. Who is your derby crush (BRRG or elsewhere)?

“Smarty Pants of the Texas Rollergirls. I had the pleasure of taking a couple of classes from her at the Blood and Thunder boot camp in Cleveland a couple of years ago. She is the cool, thoughtful skater I wish I could be. She was at the Roller Derby World Cup this year in Toronto and I made a complete, happy, fool of myself.”

Sweet Heart-Attack

4. What’s different about derby than you anticipated?

It’s hard!  There are a lot more rules, the girls are a lot more athletic and hit a lot harder than I realized.

5. What are your goals for this season?

Well I’m recovering from an injury and it’s taking a lot longer than it should have been.  I’m finally seeing progress in my recovery. Once that happens my goals are to really amp up my aggression on the track. I also want to enjoy myself a lot more. Last year I got caught up in not being able to do everything perfectly and it started to stress me out.

6. How does it feel to be a member of the Hazard Cup champs, the Hellbombers?

Totally sweet.  Fans love to hate the Hellbombers! But every year the Hellbombers recruit and develop their talent and I think that is what helps us be successful.

7. What’s the biggest challenge for you in derby?

Giving and receiving criticism (mostly giving, I’m used to receiving it by now), and being aggressive on the track.

8. What’s your day job?

Ninja Assassin!

9. Tell us a fun fact about yourself.

I can identify almost every Star Trek: The Next Generation episode within 30 seconds of dialog. Also, I’m a huge nerd.

10. What skater leaves you shaking in your skate boots?

Veruca Salty. I don’t even want to look at her when I’m on the jam line. Scares the socks off of me. And if she didn’t know it before she knows it now!

Your Royal Majesty (the skater formerly known as Professor Booty) lays a hit on the Killustrator of the Cleveland Steamers March 10 at the season home opener.

The 2012 season got off to a wild start March 10 during the Burning River Roller Girls home opener at the Wolstein Center.

The night started off with the Cleveland Steamers battling the 2011 Hazard Cup winners, the Hellbombers.

CupQuake of the Steamers put up the first point of the season. A couple of power jams and strategic plays made it anyone’s game for most of the first half.

But the Hellbombers were able to keep the Steamers scoreless for the last six minutes of the first half, putting the Hellbombers at an 82-20 halftime lead.

The Steamers were able to inch up in points in the second half with the help of a power jam by the Killustrator. But the Hellbombers played a very smart, strong game, sinking the Steamers with a final score of 166-48.

The second bout featured an incredibly close match up between the Rolling Pin-Ups and the Hard Knockers.

Premo Donna of the Hard Knockers put up a cool 15 points in the first jam, thanks to the Pin-Ups jammer being sent to the penalty box.

Anna Malinstinct of the Hard Knockers smashes into Oooh Shinee.

Power jam was the word of the night as jammers from both the Hard Knockers and Pin-Ups spent time in the box, allowing for big points to go up on the board and multiple lead changes throughout the first half.

Finnish-Her of the Hard Knockers  tied things up at 31-31 during a power jam. But Pin-Ups rookie Oooh Shinee turned the tables with a 13-point jam. The lead didn’t last long, as the Hard Knockers take control, finishing the half with an 81-56 lead.

The gap continued to widen as the Knockers led 114-71 in the second half thanks to a 33-point jam by Premo Donna. But a 20-point power jam, again from Oooh Shinee, helped close the gap.

Bad Mooney Rising flies around the track.

The final jam was a power jam with Bad Mooney Rising on the line for the Hard Knockers. The Knockers had a 132-131 lead, so all Mooney needed was to become lead jammer and call off the jam before the Pin-Ups could score any points. And that’s exactly what she did, holding the final score at 132-131 for the Hard Knockers!

Thank you to everyone who came out March 10.  Share with us, what was your favorite moment of the night? And be sure to join us again at the Wolstein Center March 31 with the Cleveland Steamers vs. the Rolling Pin-Ups and the Hard Knockers vs. the Hellbombers!

Hellbombers 166, Cleveland Steamers 48
Hard Knockers 132, Rolling Pin-Ups 131


Morbid Cherub, earning her MVP as pivot.

Cleveland Steamers
Pivot: Maul-ibu Barbie
Blocker: the Killustrator
Jammer: CupQuake

Pivot: Morbid
Blocker: Luz Cannon
Jammer: Marion Razorwound

Hard Knockers
Pivot: Veruca Salty
Blocker: Finnish-Her
Jammer: Premo Donna

Rolling Pin-Ups
Pivot: Hidden Ajennda
Blocker: Oooh Shinee
Jammer: Punkd Pixie

Did you see our new billboards?!

If you missed roller derby this weekend, you missed out!

Congrats to the Hellbombers for a 166-48 victory over the Cleveland Steamers and to the Hard Knockers for defeating the Rolling Pin-Ups 132-131. Very exciting way to kick off the season!

We’ll be posting pictures and a bout recap as soon as possible. But in the meantime, go to our Twitter feed at to read our updates posted throughout the night.

Also, some of you who were there on Saturday have had some great questions about what exactly was happening on the track. We’ve started a new routine at the bouts in which skaters who aren’t playing will be walking around the Wolstein Center with bright orange T-shirts on that say “Ask me about derby.” We know derby is new to some of you, and also that strategies change from year to year, so these skaters are on-hand for you to ask questions about anything that you might not totally understand.

We’ll also be using this blog as a forum to hash out some of the nitty-gritty in more detail, so if you have questions, send them our way! Coming soon, we’ll be talking about what is the function of a pivot (the skater with the striped helmet cover), what’s going on with the different ways that a jam is started, and how the speed of the pack is determined.

Until then, check out this nifty guide from WFTDA (the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association) about how to get the most out of watching a roller derby bout.

We’ll see you again March 31!  Get your tickets now for $12.

Tonight, tonight! Derby season starts tonight!!!

So what do you need to know?

Bout 1: Cleveland Steamers vs. Hellbombers
Bout 2: Hard Knockers vs. Rolling Pin-Ups

Tickets can be purchased in person at the Wolstein Center box office when you arrive. SEASON PASSES ARE STILL AVAILABLE TODAY!

Season passes get you into seven bouts for $63. That’s THREE bouts for free compared to regular at-door admission fees. So if you’re buying your ticket today at the box office, a season pass is seriously the best deal.

Doors open at 5 p.m. / Bouts begin at 6 p.m.
Wolstein Center – Cleveland State University
2000 Prospect Ave.
Cleveland, Ohio

General admission
Adult day-of: $17
Kids (12 and younger): $6
Special group (Student, Military, etc.): $10

VIP admission
Adult day-of: $20
VIP special group (Student, Military, etc.): $12
VIP season ticket (seven bouts): $78.75 – This is 25% off – $11.25 per bout.

What does VIP mean? VIP gets you access to the sectioned off area on the floor with tables and chairs (see the action up-close without sitting on the floor)! It also gives you access to a private cash bar, so you never have to leave the action for refreshments. You as always can also sit wherever you want in the Wolstein Center, but you always have special access to this section.

Parking is available in several parking areas and on streets near the Wolstein Center. The easiest access is a parking deck right next door. In the past, parking has cost about $6, but we have no control over this area, so there’s no guarantee that will be the price today. Just make sure you have cash on hand. In the past, the deck has closed at midnight. Make sure you check the times when you park.

AFTER PARTY: There will be an after party event at the Rockstar Lounge (above Peabody’s concert club). Bring your ticket stub and come join the skaters as they celebrate! BONUS: It’s within walking distance of the Wolstein Center!

See you tonight!