Archive for the ‘The Hard Knockers’ Category

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Huge hits, lead changes galore and a tied game that went into overtime — if you weren’t at the Burning River Roller Girls’ third home team bout, you missed out on one heck of an exciting night of roller derby.

The third double-header of the home season kicked off with a rousing rendition of the National Anthem by our very own West Nel Virus of the Cleveland Steamers and William Maullace, ref extraordinaire.

Then the skaters took the track for a fast-paced game pitting the Rolling Pin-Ups against last year’s Hazard Cup champs the Hellbombers. The Pin-Ups took the lead early and kept it for most of the game until the Bombers caught up toward the tail end of the second half.  At the end of the last jam, the score was tied meaning the game went into the rare unicorn that is the overtime jam! (A quick refresher for those who haven’t seen it in a while — in overtime, the jam goes the full two minutes and there is no lead jammer.) Despite a hard fight and a star pass from Pin-Up jammer …ooohSHINEE!, the Bombers pulled it off and won 154 to 149. MVPs were Mary Kaos (MVP Jammer) and Sparkles (MVP Blocker) for the Bombers, and Lulu (MVP Jammer) and x-TRON-x(MVP Blocker) for the Pin-Ups.

After the half time entertainment (the otherworldly sounds of a musical saw player) and a brief delay while helmet covers were procured, the Hard Knockers faced off against the Cleveland Steamers in the second bout of the evening. Despite a quick lead by the Steamers, the girls in pink snatched it away by the half.  It was a revolving door in the penalty box as both team’s jammers took turns sitting for a minute for much of the second half, but the Knockers never let that lead close and took the win 158 to 114. MVPs were Premo Donna (MVP Jammer) and Vendetta Farfalle (MVP Blocker) for the Knockers, and CupQuake (MVP Jammer) and Buddhalicious (MVP Blocker) for the Steamers.

After all that, you’re dying to know the Semi-finals match-ups now, right? Since this bout’s outcomes resulted in a three-way tie between the Knockers, Bombers and Pin-Ups, score differentials were used as the tiebreaker. The Semi-finals, on June 22 at the Ohio Nets Sports Complex, will be game one: the Hard Knockers (3rd place) vs. the Hellbombers (2nd place), and game two: the Rolling Pin-Ups (1st place) vs. the Cleveland Steamers (4th place.)   Get your tickets here!!! Winners from each game go skate to skate for the Hazard Cup in our Championship bout. Will the Knockers beat the Bombers for a second time this season and go on to the Championship for the first time since our first season? Can the Steamers sink the competition and pull an upset on the Pin-Ups? You’ll just have to be there this Saturday,  June 22 to find out.

Pink Star Rookies!!!

Posted: April 20, 2013 by burningriverrollergirls in General, home teams, Interviews, Rookies, The Hard Knockers


Well, one rookie so far.  More to come in the next few weeks.

Skater Name  Black Ice

Skater Number 906

When did you become interested in derby? I started playing derby up in Anchorage, Alaska, after my boss (who was the head NSO for Rage City Rollergirls) invited me to an open skate with the league around October of 2011.

What is the most exciting thing that you’ve done so far as a new home team skater? I was surprised by Mooney, Coach Mike and Pinky Teaseadaro with a whole bunch of team pink goodies while I was out to dinner one night!blackice

What was your first bout like? My first bout with BRRG was Pyros (plus) vs. the Border City Brawlers; it was a good bout for our newbies/pyromaniacs to understand how bouting works and what it’s like to be in front of a whole bunch of people. Not to mention BCB has some crazy good offense.

Any advice for people thinking about trying out for derby? Don’t be shy and just get yourself in skates! Once you’ve made it there, you’ve fought more than half the battle.

What’s your personal theme song and why? None of Dem by Robyn (feat. Royksopp) – it’s just the right amount of F*ck you that I like in a song.

What’s your spirit animal? Probably a river otter, they’re so sassy.

Do you have a favorite skater?  Someone who mentored you? My former coach and team captain, Salmon Ella! She’s been skating for many years with Rage City and really pushed me to be a better skater and a smarter player. She listened to my whines and gave me ice packs when I busted myself up. It’s a really lovely feeling when a veteran just listens to a newbie, even if she’s heard it a million times before, it makes you feel like you are important to the league.


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Burning River Roller Girls Season 6 officially came to an end over the weekend as we celebrated our league members with an amazing awards banquet.  Below you will find a list of winners – we’re so proud!  We couldn’t fit all of the photos into the post, so here’s just a taste.  Thank you to our very own Buddha (Victoria Stanbridge)  for taking the photos.  You can see more of her professional work here.  

Can’t wait to start Season 7!  We will have more details in the next few weeks, so please stay tuned!

League Awards

League MVP – The Killustrator

Best Jammer – Premo Donna
Best Blocker – Finnish-HER
Rookie of the Year – …oooh Shinee!
Most Improved – Mary Kaos
Derby Queen – Amstel Standin’
Most Intimidating – Morbid Cherub
Joan Weston Leadership Award: TIE!!!!  Eva Lucien & Mosh Spice
Most Dedicated Ref – David Feck’em
Most Dedicated NSO – Travis Sickle
CoCo Sparx Best Butt Award – West Nel Virus
Rockin Rack – Beatrix Wicked
Gorgeous Gams – Rainbow Fright
MVP – The Killustrator
Best Jammer – The Killustrator
Best Blocker – Finnish-HER
Most Improved – Premo Donna
Rookie of the Year – oooh Shinee!
MVP – Professor Booty
Best Jammer – Marion Razorwound
Best Blocker – Decibelle
Rookie of the Year- Mandy Maggots
Most Improved – Beatrix Wicked
Jammer – Tuety Turmoil
MVP – 3 way tie: Dirty Rotten Oar, Social Batterfly, Hellz Kellz
Best Blocker – Pathojane
Most Improved – Hellz Kellz
MVP – Professor Booty
Best Jammer – Marion Razorwound
Best Blocker – TIE – Morbid Cherub & Ivanna Destroya
Rookie of the Year – Action Jackson
Most Improved – Mary Kaos
Rolling PinUps
MVP – Punkd Pixie
Best Jammer – Punkd Pixie
Best Blocker – Rae Gunn
Rookie of the Year – oooh Shinee
Most Improved – Mandy Maggots
MVP – The Killustrator
Best Jammer – Maulibu Barbie
Best Blocker – Rainbow Fright
Rookie of the Year – Knock Off Hanbag
Most Improved – Knock Off Hanbag
Hard Knockers
MVP – Bad Mooney Rising
Best Jammer – Premo Donna
Best Blocker – Finnish-HER
Rookie of the Year – Scarlet Go Dancin
Most Improved – Thrash-her

Your Royal Majesty (the skater formerly known as Professor Booty) lays a hit on the Killustrator of the Cleveland Steamers March 10 at the season home opener.

The 2012 season got off to a wild start March 10 during the Burning River Roller Girls home opener at the Wolstein Center.

The night started off with the Cleveland Steamers battling the 2011 Hazard Cup winners, the Hellbombers.

CupQuake of the Steamers put up the first point of the season. A couple of power jams and strategic plays made it anyone’s game for most of the first half.

But the Hellbombers were able to keep the Steamers scoreless for the last six minutes of the first half, putting the Hellbombers at an 82-20 halftime lead.

The Steamers were able to inch up in points in the second half with the help of a power jam by the Killustrator. But the Hellbombers played a very smart, strong game, sinking the Steamers with a final score of 166-48.

The second bout featured an incredibly close match up between the Rolling Pin-Ups and the Hard Knockers.

Premo Donna of the Hard Knockers put up a cool 15 points in the first jam, thanks to the Pin-Ups jammer being sent to the penalty box.

Anna Malinstinct of the Hard Knockers smashes into Oooh Shinee.

Power jam was the word of the night as jammers from both the Hard Knockers and Pin-Ups spent time in the box, allowing for big points to go up on the board and multiple lead changes throughout the first half.

Finnish-Her of the Hard Knockers  tied things up at 31-31 during a power jam. But Pin-Ups rookie Oooh Shinee turned the tables with a 13-point jam. The lead didn’t last long, as the Hard Knockers take control, finishing the half with an 81-56 lead.

The gap continued to widen as the Knockers led 114-71 in the second half thanks to a 33-point jam by Premo Donna. But a 20-point power jam, again from Oooh Shinee, helped close the gap.

Bad Mooney Rising flies around the track.

The final jam was a power jam with Bad Mooney Rising on the line for the Hard Knockers. The Knockers had a 132-131 lead, so all Mooney needed was to become lead jammer and call off the jam before the Pin-Ups could score any points. And that’s exactly what she did, holding the final score at 132-131 for the Hard Knockers!

Thank you to everyone who came out March 10.  Share with us, what was your favorite moment of the night? And be sure to join us again at the Wolstein Center March 31 with the Cleveland Steamers vs. the Rolling Pin-Ups and the Hard Knockers vs. the Hellbombers!

Hellbombers 166, Cleveland Steamers 48
Hard Knockers 132, Rolling Pin-Ups 131


Morbid Cherub, earning her MVP as pivot.

Cleveland Steamers
Pivot: Maul-ibu Barbie
Blocker: the Killustrator
Jammer: CupQuake

Pivot: Morbid
Blocker: Luz Cannon
Jammer: Marion Razorwound

Hard Knockers
Pivot: Veruca Salty
Blocker: Finnish-Her
Jammer: Premo Donna

Rolling Pin-Ups
Pivot: Hidden Ajennda
Blocker: Oooh Shinee
Jammer: Punkd Pixie

Did you see our new billboards?!

If you missed roller derby this weekend, you missed out!

Congrats to the Hellbombers for a 166-48 victory over the Cleveland Steamers and to the Hard Knockers for defeating the Rolling Pin-Ups 132-131. Very exciting way to kick off the season!

We’ll be posting pictures and a bout recap as soon as possible. But in the meantime, go to our Twitter feed at to read our updates posted throughout the night.

Also, some of you who were there on Saturday have had some great questions about what exactly was happening on the track. We’ve started a new routine at the bouts in which skaters who aren’t playing will be walking around the Wolstein Center with bright orange T-shirts on that say “Ask me about derby.” We know derby is new to some of you, and also that strategies change from year to year, so these skaters are on-hand for you to ask questions about anything that you might not totally understand.

We’ll also be using this blog as a forum to hash out some of the nitty-gritty in more detail, so if you have questions, send them our way! Coming soon, we’ll be talking about what is the function of a pivot (the skater with the striped helmet cover), what’s going on with the different ways that a jam is started, and how the speed of the pack is determined.

Until then, check out this nifty guide from WFTDA (the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association) about how to get the most out of watching a roller derby bout.

We’ll see you again March 31!  Get your tickets now for $12.

Tonight, tonight! Derby season starts tonight!!!

So what do you need to know?

Bout 1: Cleveland Steamers vs. Hellbombers
Bout 2: Hard Knockers vs. Rolling Pin-Ups

Tickets can be purchased in person at the Wolstein Center box office when you arrive. SEASON PASSES ARE STILL AVAILABLE TODAY!

Season passes get you into seven bouts for $63. That’s THREE bouts for free compared to regular at-door admission fees. So if you’re buying your ticket today at the box office, a season pass is seriously the best deal.

Doors open at 5 p.m. / Bouts begin at 6 p.m.
Wolstein Center – Cleveland State University
2000 Prospect Ave.
Cleveland, Ohio

General admission
Adult day-of: $17
Kids (12 and younger): $6
Special group (Student, Military, etc.): $10

VIP admission
Adult day-of: $20
VIP special group (Student, Military, etc.): $12
VIP season ticket (seven bouts): $78.75 – This is 25% off – $11.25 per bout.

What does VIP mean? VIP gets you access to the sectioned off area on the floor with tables and chairs (see the action up-close without sitting on the floor)! It also gives you access to a private cash bar, so you never have to leave the action for refreshments. You as always can also sit wherever you want in the Wolstein Center, but you always have special access to this section.

Parking is available in several parking areas and on streets near the Wolstein Center. The easiest access is a parking deck right next door. In the past, parking has cost about $6, but we have no control over this area, so there’s no guarantee that will be the price today. Just make sure you have cash on hand. In the past, the deck has closed at midnight. Make sure you check the times when you park.

AFTER PARTY: There will be an after party event at the Rockstar Lounge (above Peabody’s concert club). Bring your ticket stub and come join the skaters as they celebrate! BONUS: It’s within walking distance of the Wolstein Center!

See you tonight!

Dita and Holly Huntress of the Cleveland Steamers get ready to block the Hellbombers' Marion Razorwound during game 1 of Season 5.

The Burning River Roller Girls, Cleveland’s premier flat track roller derby league, is proud to welcome you to its sixth season of hard hits, high skill, fast action, and fun for the entire family! Real women. Real athletics. Real roller derby.

Our four home teams have been training hard to make 2012 the best year for roller derby in Cleveland yet! Be there March 10 as the home season begins with the Cleveland Steamers facing off against the 2011 Hazard Cup Champions, the Hellbombers. Stick around for the second part of the double-header as the Rolling Pin-Ups battle the Hard Knockers.

But the action doesn’t end there. Cleveland’s top skaters return March 31 with the Rolling Pin-Ups vs. the Cleveland Steamers and the Hellbombers vs. the Hard Knockers. Be there to witness this year’s champs as they rise to the top.

Premo Donna dodges x-TRON-x in the Season 5 home opener.


You’re invited to experience the fastest growing sport in the country – for an amazing price. Season 6 will usher in a brand new era for the Burning River Roller Girls. This season will include our traditional five home team bouts, but also, for the first time ever, the league will host two travel team events at the Wolstein Center in Cleveland!

All events are double-headers, so you get double the derby action for one low price! Plus when you buy a season pass, it’s like getting three games for free, compared to day-of admission!


General admission*
Adult advance: $12
Adult day-of: $17
Kids (12 and younger): $6
Special group (Student, Military, etc.): $10
Season ticket (seven bouts): $63 – This is 25% off – $9 per bout.
VIP admission*
(Includes access to the sectioned-off VIP area on the floor and private cash bar so you never have to step away from the action).

Adult advance: $15
Adult day-of: $20
VIP special group (Student, Military, etc.): $12
VIP season ticket (seven bouts): $78.75 – This is 25% off – $11.25 per bout.

Have a group of 10+ from your work or other organization? Call the Wolstein Center to inquire about special pricing. Tickets can be purchased in person at the Wolstein Center box office, by phone at 1-877-468-4946 or online at*

*Processing/convenience fees apply for online and phone orders.

2012 season schedule (all Saturdays):

Home team bouts
March 10, March 31, April 21, May 5 (Semifinals), June 9 (Championships)

Travel team home bouts
June 16 – Burning River All-Stars and HazMat Crew vs. Tri-City Roller Girls (Kitchener, ON)
July 21 – TBD

Venue information
Doors open at 5 p.m. / Bouts begin at 6 p.m.
Wolstein Center – Cleveland State University
2000 Prospect Ave.
Cleveland, Ohio