Archive for September, 2011

Saturday was the Burning River Roller Girls awards banquet to celebrate our 2011 season. Many skaters were honored for their awesome efforts this year. Some awards were serious, some were just for fun, but all deserve to be highlighted.
And the winners, as voted by the skaters, are:

League-wide awards

Eva Lucien, league MVP, best blocker, Rolling Pin-Ups MVP.

MVP – Eva Lucien
Best Jammer – Sparkles
Best Pivot – Destroya
Best Blocker – Eva Lucien
Most Improved – Cleveland
Rookie of the Year – Marion Razorwound

Derby Crush – The Killustrator
Derby Queen – Amstel Standin’
Most Intimidating – Pretty Scarrie
Most Dedicated – Hidden Ajennda
Miss Congeniality – Mary Kaos
Joan Weston Leadership Award – Mosh Spice
Best Butt– Sparkles and LuLu (TIE)

Sparkles, aka CoCo Sparx (left), league best jammer, most points scored, All-Stars MVP, All-Stars best jammer, Hellbombers MVP, Hellbombers best jammer. She tied for best butt with LuLu (right) who also won Rolling Pin-Ups rookie of the year.

Best Rack – Olive Bruises
Best Legs – Rainbow Fright
High Point Award – Sparkles
Most Dedicated Ref – David Feckem
Most Dedicated NSO – Travis Sickle
Biggest Whistle Blower – David Feckem

MVP – CoCo Sparx
Best Jammer – CoCo Sparx
Best Pivot – Ivanna Destroya
Best Blocker – Hidden Ajennda
Rookie of the Year – The Eduskater
Most Improved – Bad Mooney Rising

MVP – CupQuake
Best Jammer – CupQuake
Best Pivot – Olive Bruises
Best Blocker – Olive Bruises
Rookie of the Year – Cleveland
Most Improved – decibelle

CupQuake, HazMat MVP, HazMat best jammer, Cleveland Steamers best jammer.

– Aphrobitey
Best Jammer – Malysha
Best Pivot – Holzhauer
Best Blocker – $lot Ma Sheen
Most Improved – Mapleleaf Mauler
Most Dedicated – Aphrobitey

Cleveland Steamers
MVP – The Killustrator
Best Jammer – CupQuake
Best Pivot – Gonnolea
Best Blocker – Halochic
Rookie of the Year – Girl Gone Wilder
Most Improved – GrrAnimal

Hard Knockers
MVP – Take Out
Best Jammer – Mommy’s Little Monster
Best Pivot – Take Out
Best Blocker – Veruca Salty
Rookie of the Year – Bad Mooney Rising
Most Improved– Demona Driver

Bad Mooney Rising, All-Stars most improved, Hard Knockers rookie of the year.

Rolling Pin-Ups
MVP – Eva Lucien
Best Jammer – Punkd Pixie
Best Pivot – x-TRON-x
Best Blocker – Hidden Ajennda
Rookie of the Year – LuLu
Most Improved – Star Crash

MVP – Sparkles
Best Jammer – Sparkles
Best Pivot – Destroya
Best Blocker – Professor Booty
Rookie of the Year – Marion Razorwound
Most Improved – Cleveland

Congratulate your favorite skaters, refs and NSOs here! And thanks to everyone in the league for a wonderful season!


Skater name: Premo Donna
Teams: Hard Knockers, Burning River All-Stars

1. How did you get into derby?

Premo Donna slips by Dita in Game 5 Season 5.

 I remember hearing something about roller derby a few years back and wondering if it was still around. Then I saw “Whip It” (like so many others) and wondered if Cleveland had a roller derby league. I looked online and found BRRG. My husband and I went to some games in 2010 and I was hooked after the first one. I bought a BRRG t-shirt and a deck of trading cards. The funny thing was, my cousin (Veruca Salty) was a rookie that year, but I had no idea. I even had her trading card and thought it was such a cool name (I’m a huge “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory” fan), but didn’t recognize her in the photo on her card because of derby names. I saw her mention something on Facebook about an upcoming bout, looked into it and found out she was a Hard Knocker! She encouraged me to go to Fresh Meat sign ups that year and from then on I was hooked.

2. What has surprised you about derby?

 How physically demanding it is. I mean, you know from watching it that it’s a physical sport, but you don’t realize how much endurance and stamina it takes to actually be able to play this sport for an hour straight. I’ve always been in decent shape but have never worked out so hard in my life before I started playing derby!

3. What has been the biggest challenge to you in derby?

 My biggest challenge so far has been trying to get over being so hard on myself when I make a mistake or don’t get something right away. I’m my own worst enemy, and I tend to get really down about the things I don’t do right. I don’t give myself any credit for the things I do well either. It’s a work-in-progress.

 4. You came in as a rookie and tore the track up as a jammer. To who/what do you attribute your jamming skills to?

 When I first started, all I had was being fast. I could skate fast so I thought that would make me a good jammer. Then, during practices, I found out that you have to be really agile and be in really good shape so you can have the stamina to race around that track for two minutes straight. I would watch all these awesome jammers — Sparkles, Mommy’s Little Monster, Take-Out, Rainbow Fright, CupQuake, the Killustrator — and try to do what they do. Then, when I was drafted to the Knockers, Take-Out would teach me a lot about agility, using my levels, being a smart jammer — all these skills necessary to be a good jammer. She really encouraged me and taught me a lot. Everyone on my team has been so encouraging and they really helped me out. I try to put everything I learn into practice whenever possible. Even when I’m walking through a crowd, I try to practice my agility to step around people. I try to make myself really small and see if I can get through the crowded room without touching anyone. People may look at me funny but I’ve noticed a difference!

Premo lines up against the Killustrator in the Championship bout July 16. While they are competitors on the home teams, they are teammates on the All-Stars.

 5. How does it feel to be a rookie on the Burning River All-Stars?

 I was really excited to be accepted to All-Stars! I almost couldn’t believe it when they told me I was on the team. I was also really intimidated, playing with all these awesome girls, and playing WITH players I usually play AGAINST. It’s a different dynamic, but I’m so excited about the opportunity! I haven’t played a game with All-Stars yet, but the chance to play against leagues from other cities and other states is exciting! I’ve also been able to start developing my blocking skills practicing with All-Stars, which is really helping me in my goal to be a good Renaissance skater!

 6. What are your goals for the upcoming season?

 I’d really like to focus on being a good all-around player. I love jamming, but it is essential to be a good blocker in this game. I don’t always jam, and I want to be a good asset to my teams no matter what position I play.

 7. What is your day job?

 I’m a registered veterinary technician. I’m able to do everything a veterinarian does except diagnose, perform surgery and prescribe medications (all of which take about six more years of education to be able to do — just like a human doctor). A lot of people think it’s like a nurse for animals, but it’s so much more. I do nursing care, but I also draw blood, take x-rays, administer and monitor anesthesia, do dental cleanings, assist in surgery, perform laboratory tests, IV catheters and IV fluid maintenance, client education, and on and on. So many people think it’s playing with puppies and kittens all day, but it can be really stressful. It’s also highly rewarding, especially when the puppy you’ve been nursing through parvo for the last week gets to go home, happy and healthy, to the little boy who got him for his birthday.

8. Tell us about your horseback-riding hobby.

 I guess I never grew out of my “I love horses” phase. As far back as I can remember I have loved horses, so when I had a steady income and was able to pay for lessons myself, I started taking them. I’ve been at the same awesome stable for about four years now, taking lessons two days a week. I absolutely love it. I get to be around the horses, and I’m learning something new all the time. I don’t ride one particular discipline all the time. One day it could be saddleseat, and the next it could be dressage. I haven’t been able to show yet, but I’d like to get into that at some point. I’m also learning how to drive a cart, which is really fun!

9. Who is your derby crush?

Wow, I have been star struck from day one with BRRG! We have so many awesome players, it’s hard to pick just one now that I’m playing for the league! When I was just a spectator though, the skaters I liked to watch most were Monster and Rainbow. They both just look so happy to be on skates!

 10. Tell us a fun fact about yourself.

 I have a trifecta of interesting hobbies — all of which require helmets. Before horseback riding and before derby, there was riding my quad (four-wheeler, to most people). My dad and his best friend would take us kids to Pennsylvania on weekends to go riding on the trails. This started when I was about 6 years old. I’ve been riding quads ever since. My dad and brothers have stopped riding, but my best friend Heather and I still do. I have two quads of my own, and it’s taken me across the country. I’ve met some lifelong friends because of it. We ride all over the place: trails in Pennsylvania, sand dunes in Michigan, Idaho and Utah. There was a time I actually wanted to get into racing, but it’s expensive, and now I work on weekends, which makes it hard. I don’t get to ride as much as I used to, but it’s in my blood, and it’s something I’ll never stop doing.

Bracket time!

Posted: September 20, 2011 by burningriverrollergirls in General, WFTDA rankings
Tags: , , , , , ,

Forget March Madness! Fall is where it’s at in the roller derby world as the best teams in the country host their regional tournaments over the next few weeks.

These tournaments will all lead up to the WFTDA 2011 Nationals in Broomfield, Colo., Nov. 11-13.

While the Burning River Roller Girls will not be playing in the Regionals this year, we are all having a blast filling out our official WFTDA brackets and watching live coverage on Derby News Network

Bracket time!

It’s too late to follow along with the East Region Playoffs (Congrats to Gotham Girls Roller Derby  for taking the title there). But more fun begins Sept. 23 as the West Region Playoffs start up. We’re especially excited to watch our region, the North Central Region, play Oct. 7-9.

Check your brackets for a schedule of the bouts and check DNN for details.
So you say “But I don’t know anything about these teams!”
Pshaw. So what?! What better time to learn? Sit back, relax, have fun filling out your bracket, and watch some of the top skaters in the U.S. demonstrate why roller derby is the fastest growing sport in the country!
And just for kicks, share your predictions here! Even if you’re just guessing, it’s fun to play along!

If you have an opportunity to use your voice, you should use it.
Samuel L. Jackson


Kent Smith and J.W. Stafford, announcers for the Burning River Roller Girls, mean business. J.W. moved away this season. Are you ready to fill his shoes?

Do you have the gift of gab? Do you covet the arena of eight wheels and left turns? Then consider using your voice to enhance the Cleveland roller derby fan experience.

The Burning River Roller Girls, Cleveland’s premier flat track roller derby league, is looking for two announcers to contribute insightful, entertaining and pertinent commentary for the league’s sporting events, including home and away bouts.

Qualifications include but are not limited to:

    • Live call experience / well-spoken / able to inform and entertain without detracting from the bout
    • Outgoing and energetic
    • Professional and impartial
    • Enthusiastic and dedicated
    • Comfortable working with a team and speaking in front of 1,000+ people in a live public address format, television and/or radio broadcast, and podcasting for Internet distribution.
    • Knowledge of the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association (WFTDA) rules and an understanding of the sport of flat track roller derby and its strategies
    • Available for the league’s charity bout, Saturday, Nov. 19, 2011
    • Available for all scheduled home bouts (Saturday nights) March through August 2012

Duties include:

    • Live call of roller derby bouts including:
        • Explanation of the game
        • Sponsor announcements
        • Announcing contest or raffle winners
    • Conducting skater interviews
    • Crowd interaction

Kent Smith

Announcers will be asked to attend league practices leading up to their first bout to practice announcing and to get familiar with the league, including skaters, referees, officials and the current announcer.
Additional meetings with the announcer and/or league members may be required.

Roller Derby announcing requires a unique combination of skills and challenges that are not seen in other sports. Derby announcers are expected to perform exceptional play by play, witty banter and a detailed explanation of the rules and strategy employed by the skaters on the track.
Association of Flat Track Derby Announcers

Applications are being accepted NOW!

The process:

  1. For questions or to request an application, email
  2. Application deadline: 5 PM, Friday, Oct. 7
  3. Live tryout (working with the current announcer) making a live call to a previously recorded bout:

 7 PM, Wednesday, Oct. 12
Thermadore Lounge
17406 Grovewood Avenue
Cleveland, OH 44119

What to bring:

  • Knowledge of the WFTDA Rules – a basic rules test will be administered
  • DVDs of any previous announcing experience

Trust that little voice in your head that says ‘Wouldn’t it be interesting if…’ and then do it.
Duane Michals


Burning River Roller Girls:
WFTDA rules:

Association of Flat Track Derby Announcers:
Derby News Network and webcasts:

Specific webcasts:

More at

Roller Derby Announcer Blog (from Tank – one of the best in the business):

Ever wonder what's Sparkles' jamming secret? Levitation, baby.

July 16 Championship bout. Hellbombers vs. Rolling Pin-Ups. Photo courtesy of Dave Brown Images.

In case you missed it …

Posted: September 10, 2011 by burningriverrollergirls in General

The Burning River Roller Girls represented at the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure this morning. Some of the ladies assisted during the Survivors’ Ceremony and were so touched by the event.
We’re very excited to be pairing up with Susan G. Komen for the Cure again Nov. 19 for our annual Black & Blue charity bout.

Click the photo below to watch WKYC’s coverage featuring an interview with our very own Holly Huntress and LuLu!

Some of the ladies of the Burning River Roller Girls show their support of Susan G. Komen for the Cure.

While things are slow on the derby front for the Burning River Roller Girls this month,  the action never really stops for Cleveland’s favorite ladies on skates.

Some of our girls will be making appearances over the next month at various events as we promote Black & Blue 6. Come on out and say hello and support some of the great events in the community!

Saturday, Sept. 10
What: Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure
When: Registration begins at 6 a.m.
We will be participating in the Survivor’s Ceremony, which begins at 8 a.m.
Where: Wolstein Center, Cleveland
Registration: Online registration is closed, but there’s still a chance to participate! Visit Tower City Center until 5 p.m. today or arrive extra early tomorrow at the Wolstein Center. More registration details are available here.

Sunday, Sept. 11
What: Cleveland Garlic Festival
When: 12 p.m.
Where: Shaker Square
Tickets: $7 per adult/$2 children 3-12 for one-day. Discounts for two-day tickets.

Saturday, Sept. 24
What: Zombie Walk
When: 11 a.m.
Where: The 5 O’clock Lounge, Lakewood

What events are you excited about attending this month in Northeast Ohio?